21st Century Epitaph
How happy I would be
To be a prisoner
Of another skin.
Your body is not your own.
It is the captive of all skin
Not yet fossil and not yet flesh,
Not yet named and not yet born,
Not yet memory and not yet eternity.
Your body is yours only
When you pay for it
With your warmest blood,
With all the peeling tissue
Of your wilting meat,
With all the naked terror
Of your writhing limbs,
And the trembling shape
Of your tiny shadow.
And I still remember it:
Everywhere the ceremony of waste was screaming its song
In cathedrals of commerce and cruelty,
The soul of every animal listening to a world gone quiet,
Every insect now a spectator of their second death
As their loving hands broke my body like eucharist
And lowered it into this concrete carcass of a city,
They etched upon my tombstone an epitaph:
“Yesterday
I lost both of my limbs,
But now I sleep with four.
I lost both of my antennae,
But now I am human.
I lost both of my wings,
But I’m still human.
What am I?”
And here you will find me,
Palms opened for the overcast sky,
The pavement bruising my knees,
Asking under human tears,
Under human breath:
“O god of loneliness,
How many times have I died here already?
How much of my life
Will these years take from me?
How many years from my life
Will this country take from me?
I will always be a stranger here,
Even in the closeness of it all,
I have only become
A stranger to myself.
How happy I would be
To be a prisoner
Of another skin.
O god of loneliness,
I beg of thee:
Please
Let me be
A cockroach
Once
Again.”
Cursed we are above all creatures
For wishing to be flesh in a world of apparitions.
Cursed we are above all creatures
For making offspring out of
Handfuls upon handfuls of dust.
Cursed we are above all creatures
For worshipping the working day,
As we crawl out of our houses,
Domiciles, and shelters,
Public housing commissions,
And great ocean garbage patches,
Every suburb is a cemetery,
Every neighbourhood a catacomb,
Every building is a tomb,
Every room an unmarked grave.
Cursed we are above all creatures
For we know this to be true:
This is the end of all tomorrows,
All eternity has died for today.
Cursed I am above
Every breathing thing,
For I am forbidden fruit
Of forbidden seed,
For I am unknown skin
Of unknown breed,
For I am a child of exile
Waiting to be interred,
For flesh I am
And to flesh
I will return.