Maxibon Wrapper Design Latest Victim of Cancel Culture Mob

The woke, cancel culture mob has raised their torches to the heels of an icon and incinerated it beyond recognition.

Image Credit: David Singleton

Another tear has emerged in the polarised social fabric draped across our country. Amongst a raft of other aesthetic and lineup changes to the iconic frozen dessert (including the introduction of a brand-new "Waffle-On" flavour), Peter's Maxibon ice creams are now wrapped in a new brand-spanking design.

To the casual observer? An inconspicuous rebrand for an otherwise delightful treat. A simpler backdrop, less flashy logo and more prominent flavour label. To them, society would be better off recognising the skeuomorphic, loud and flashy designs of the past for what they are — a brief misstep on a journey towards a minimalism.

But some of us aren't just casual observers. Free thinkers and truth seekers can't afford to sit on the sidelines. Rather, us patriots are endlessly fascinated by the visual vocabulary that constitutes cultural discourse. One realises that it's through this myriad of fonts, patterns, shapes and textures that we come to know each other, our institutions, and ourselves.

It is only through this gaze that one begins to understand this latest rebranding for what it is — yet another brazen attack on our culture by the post-modern neo-Marxist parasites that have infested the halls of the intelligentsia. The woke, cancel culture mob has raised their torches to the heels of an icon and incinerated it beyond recognition.

You need only look at the old design for a moment before the rich tapestry of symbolism begins to leap out of the packaging. The centred ice cream evokes the notion of the western unipolar politique, dispelling terror and tyranny from the looming void of chaos that exists in its absence. Just as a Maxibon wouldn't be complete without the crunchy chocolate, delicate biscuit and honeycomb streaks interlaced with smooth ice cream, so too would contemporary Western civilisation lose its identity without titans of industry, culture and geopolitics such as Raytheon, Democracy and Israel. But the ideological cretins within the graphic design team at Peters are all too willing to overthrow institutions of both ice cream and culture, discarding the sandwich by shifting it off centre and, by extension, the very core of liberal democratic society.

The revolutionary change to the flavour label once again reveals the sinister intentions of the liberal elites. The old package brandished the decidedly masculine "HoneyComb Flavour", spelled out above streaks of black paint. The font’s aggressiveness appealed to the once-abundant cohort of family-oriented, hard-working males who dominated the workforce. Yet the new label, "Honey, comb this", abandons this core audience entirely. The timidity of the phrasing, as if to beg the new feminist aristocracy if we could at all trouble the bees for their sweet delicate honey, demonstrates that in the New World Order of the Left, men must be subservient to not only women but also insects. 

The observant among us knew this was coming. When Anthony Albanese's name was screeched universally at the ballot box by the moronic masses, entranced by the opiate-like drones of their TikTok lefty overlords, we knew that Australia would embark on a dark journey which would see us take a wrecking ball to cultural institutions left and right — mostly right. But nevertheless, I could never have envisioned the existential dread that enveloped me as I gazed into the abyss that now constitutes the frozen dessert freezer at seven-eleven. 

I'm sure that by merely speaking the truth about this latest egregious infraction I have outed myself as the enemy of the so-called 'tolerant'. But, to quote Robert Frost, "Can't a man speak of his own child he's lost?". In our current social stratosphere, I think not. For now, however, I will retreat to the last bastion of unabashedly masculine ice cream that society is yet to demolish — the Milo ice cream cup.