Maths question involving 32 watermelons targets specific student’s love of the fruit
Staring down at the paper, what stared back was eerily similar to her own life.
Image Credit: DALL-E
In the last 24 hours, controversy has erupted across campus, from Facebook rants to Messenger chats. Second year Maths student, Leah Ferdinand, caused a ruckus after being confronted by an ultra-specific series of questions in her exam.
“There I was, all ready to go. But just as I had sheathed the protective spike of my compass, I was metaphorically stabbed in the jugular,” Leah told PULP.
Staring down at the paper, what stared back was eerily similar to her own life.
Leah had 32 watermelons, but 12 friends. How would she divide these watermelons evenly?
“The Mathematics department clearly knew of my love of watermelons. I am quite well known among my cohort, and my insatiable thirst for watermelon is a characteristic of mine I hold dear. To insinuate I only have 12 friends, however, is quite the insult.”
Things became stranger as the exam went on.
Leah is riding a train 220 m long, that is running with a speed of 60 km/hr. In what time will it pass a man who is running at 6 km/hr in the opposite direction to that in which the train is going?
Leah was not having a bar of it. “Anyone who knows me, knows that I only ever ride trains that are 220 m long that go at a speed of 60 km/hr! This is clearly a targeted attack at me and my watermelons.”
The right triangle shown below has an area of 25. Find its hypotenuse.
Infuriated, Leah took it straight to the press. “My father’s grandfather’s brother’s sister’s cousin’s mailman’s goldfish’s previous owner was a triangle! Somehow the cretins at the Maths department had intimate details of my family history. I am incensed, gobsmacked, and most importantly, bamboozled.” She told PULP, shaken and weary.
When asked if she had contacted the Maths department before signing up to do an artistic fish eye lens flash photography shoot with one of our resident artists, she said no, leaving the most relaxed eyebrows in the room absolutely furrowed.
Since the leak of all of the exam questions by mainstream media outlets, several more students have come forward demanding recompense and claiming defamation of character — from John Smith and his band of westerly flying European swallows, to Vanessa Tomkin’s hexagonal shaped eyes.
The Maths department has since issued an apology, and stated they will be working to not include generic sounding names in their exams going forward.
Thus marks an exciting collaboration with the English department, as they embark on scouring the corners of the language for a name that does not already exist. An extension has also been provided for all students.