Eulogy to the notes app
Because of you I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my words in my pocket.
The Notes Application, 2007 - 2023
Born in Cupertino, California. Always an open book to those of us here today.
It’s hard to imagine a world without their support.
We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of the Notes app. The Notes app handled the vicissitudes of life with grace, and with such grace they handled their death. But this is no silent death, it is a murder. In June, Apple introduced the Journal App for iOS 17 to allow us to log daily experiences and memories, with suggestions to incorporate photos, location, music workouts and more: a purpose driven machine.
We are put here on this earth with no agenda, no timeline, no divine purpose. We scramble our way through life, making mistakes, improving ourselves for better or for worse. Just like us, the Notes app evolved.
But just like my beloved iPhone 4S, that got steam damage from playing music in the bathroom, nothing lasts forever. A gap in the market has been realised. The Journal App is coming, purpose built, purpose driven to take your secrets. The Notes app always had an open ear, ready for whatever journey your thumbs were ready for.
Before I found you, I used to whisper my secrets into the dark folds of the night. Clinging to the green light, hoping to remember them when I woke up. Scribbled into loose scraps of IGA receipt paper, to be shredded into anonymity in the washing machine.
Because of you I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my words in my pocket.
Pages filled with jokes I want to tell, numerous calculations for how to split the bill, draft text messages to my boss saying I can’t come in sent with my eyes closed, break up messages sent eyes wide open, things I want to remember. Most importantly I want to remember you, the Notes app.
Why do we need another vessel for shopping lists, kiss lists, bucket lists, hit lists. You were perfect.
My favourite memories like my favourite Notes entries are fragmented, lost in the cavernous place between thought, speech, and words. Lost in laughter, a quick 1-2, lost in fear of putting thought into words.
My heart and words will always belong to you. My scrappy manifesto.
Long live the Notes app.
We get less time due to the judges incline ….
Me and the lime at the bottom of my glass at the Carlisle
Mon 18/4 - After 12pm
Tues 19/4 - All day
Wed 20/4 - N/A
Thurs 21/4 - N/A
Fri 22/4 - All day
Sat 23/4 - 7am-2pm
Sun 24/4 - All day
Betoota Advocate headline: (Anthony Albanese or Scott Morrison) join the wrong party line to prove they are a man of the people. (Insert picture of a party line (phone call) and a Conga Line is)
Have you every meet someone like Hannah Vlies
Oh please, you’re such a tease
I thought that fantasy leagues generated an AI game like FIFA and they sat around watching their dream teams play. I didn’t realise it was a numbers things, they thought I was so stupid.
Convo heard
J: I’ve seen videos of people screaming on thunder mountain, it only goes like 60 km/h. I don’t get it. What’s the other one called, the space one?
P: space mountain
J: well that only goes a little bit faster
Things I have never seen
A mannequin with an outie belly button
Places I would like to infiltrate
The Australia Club
A cloistered convent
I know it’s bad
Energy can never be created or destroyed only transformed,
It’s now transformed again
I know it’s bad
I check my costar every morning
I know it’s bad
I swipe up on my Lock Screen
Article Ideas:
What frequency is stronger my electric toothbrush or my vibrator?
Green iPhone Club - more than just a colour
I found out that you were owner of a strata lot, it was you and Charlie and I got so mad
Then I was in an Orthodox Church in Russia but it had digital aspects and I was underground with my family and there were escalators and then suddenly the church shut down and all these flags were everywhere and Putin made an announcement first in Russian, then in Spanish and then English about someone stealing something