Voyeurism is an affair of the mouth.

the cry, the mandamus:

“begin slowly.”

the boy watches, and what I do not realise is

voyeurism is an affair of the mouth,

the ardour of sweet spit that taunts the tip of the tongue and the tantalising touch of teeth

he salivates. I eat.

starvation turns words into skinwalkers

cherries in a chocolate hide are nothing but an easy high

but my, what a pathetic body he has,

unable to bear the full-bodied blood of a fruit shaped like a tumour without his throat collapsing, his fingers swelling,

he watches me eat a cherry ripe instead

does the sight of it tempt him?

gums flecked with crimson

fingertips rich and muddy

he watches with so much desperation

so much dread

so much terror

I realise,

he wants a taste

before I realise what's happened, he's taken a bite —

— and there is the entry wound through which the sugar, the chocolate, the bitter fruit poisons the gut

it is my turn to be afraid

is this the surrender of reason, of mortality

in the face of something so short-lived we convince ourselves it is beauty?

god, he is an animal before me

a mistake of a quivering gaze, swollen lips, blushing cheeks

the sound of rasping breaths as his throat collapses

boy, what has tempted you?

your heart is your own judas.

are you haunted by the same feeling? the burning delirium that makes a suffocating face pleasurable?

how can I lie and pretend I am horrified by the fury of life,

the dying call of the body,

the self-effacing nerve of youth that calls you to what ends you

when I have never felt more awake

it's so damning, so unnervingly human

to teach the body passion in such a way;

the alchemy by which curiosity makes masochists of us

he writhes, he begs — my, is this the face of ecstasy?

shall I be so generous to suck the poison out as if there were a snakebite, leaving imprints of teeth and circles of red in my wake

perhaps lean into his breath to warm my neck as proof of life

place a finger against the weakening pulse to feel the carnal drum

in stasis, I watch

and I learn how easy it is to commit treason against the body.

Cherri Rype