Lace Monster

i had le dream the other day … i was paid to lie in a huge princess canopy bed in the middle of a restaurant and people would gather to watch me drink sparkling amaretto sours with candied cherries nd big wobbly towered jellies with peeled grapes nd ringlet peaks of meringue. i giggle their sensible and strong brows poke from behind pearly columns and they whisper “omg shes so cuteee”. i mean i think on the quote “why the fuck cant i have fun all the time??” i forget who said it i think i saw it on tumblr. Anywayz. 

Le sigh … it's all on my dessert spoon and i don't know how to set the table … fish knife to left and salad fork to the right so miserable … What will happen when fun is over and my prankz aren't so amusant

YOU CAN

    LEAD A HORSE TO WATER

BUT YOU CAN’T . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ CLIMB A LADDER

                              WITH A RABBIT IN EACH HAND

Dream number 2:

Like I went to a ballet school on the side of a live volcano. i'm jealous everyone looks better in the diamond pattern lycra jumpsuits than me, it's our uniform. i'm convinced i'm the fattest girl in class. Teenage ballet dancers are prone to stress fractures in the first rib and posterior ankle impingement syndrome from people performing repetitive plantar flexion. We go on a field trip, all polka dotted down the volcanic stone. Off to the Rudnyansky mansion, the girl i least like pronounces it like NYANsky like an anime cat. So stupid. There are true wits and false wit, like hypocritical (false wit) and honest (true wit). I hope to see the Hungarian tied faience stove. 

The headmistress who bears a striking resemblance to British model Alex Chung is tapping her bingo night heels along to the UVB-76 radio which vibrates at 4625 KHz. It’s 2010 and the internet tells me that in September the buzzer portions replaced with excerpts from Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. It’s November though. Intermittent phone call conversations were transmitted for a period of approximately 30 minutes at UTC 14:00. The phone call mentions the ‘brigade operative officer on duty,” the communication codes “debut,” “Nadezhada” (Russian for “Hope”, both a noun and a feminine name), “Sudak” (a name for the Zander fish and also a town in Crimea) and “Vulkan” (Volcano). Mistress Chung smiles patiently as she moves some beads on her miniature abacus.

Офицер дежурного узла связи "Дебют", прапорщик Успенская. Получила контрольный звонок от Надежды... поняла. (English: "Officer of the duty station 'Debut', ensign Uspenskaya. Received a test call from Nadezhda... understood.")

Feeling so wistful im starting forget something ughh >_< The bells keep me in time … I pull up my sock thats falling down. Was that a bell? I tell u a story that happened to moi:

I walked one time with a boy in Montparnasse, I wanted to take a photo of me flashing Serge Gainsbourg’s grave. I reckon if I picked flowers the star power sucked from the ground like a naughty talisman — maybe the PH of the soil is altered by the amount of celebritydom decomposing, would my hydrangeas blush prudent pink? What we were basically saying was that I wish I could get a boner for you, the boy says maybe it's a feeling inside but decided that this phenomenon is called the ‘Heart-on’. In the Swiss embassy he says I play the role of the ‘titular girl fag’, and he’s the compulsive accessosier, smoke operatorrr, some awkward scarecrow in flat shoes. You understand? U get it? That's Good. 

And you must remember things that are great importance liek:

Ringlett hairstylz, like hair hanging like festoons around perfect egg faces,

And like so many petticoats endlessly rolling in frills, endlessly tumbling tumbling tumbling

Kiss big roses achoo achoo achoo we all fall over!!!

DODO L’ENFANT DO

Stepping on a dress pin with my big toe and activating my pineal gland …

Sometimes I think the government is watching me, like Pfizer roleplay simulation opps think my outfit is bad, she’s soooo ita , polyester lace and her roots are showing and she always wears those shoes OMG do you think she doesn’t own another pair!!! 

It’s operation paperclip shit it's midnight driving, Margaret Howe Lovatt in the Dolphinarium in a shein bikini.

Melty chocolate magical étoile

Normie LOVE

Dream 3, another effort:

I’m at a party at Patty’s house. I like Patty. She has big anime eyes that sparkle sparkle sparkle. She doesn’t like my friends. She says they are false wits. I’m trying to walk around the party and I’m embarrassed. I wikiHow(ed) ‘how to cast an easy love spell’, I printed out screenshots from my crushes instagram and stuffed them in my underwear band, they are crinkling when i walk and her cousin offers me a ride home, she hasn’t been drinking that night. She wears big spectacles like Isabelle Adjani in The Tenant. She says her name is Rachel but I don’t believe her. I met her last month at Patty’s organ recital and she was Bessie. On the camping trip she was Maria. At graduation she was Margot. In her car I tell her about a movie I saw that day, I tell her she would find the floor work elements really great as a physical performer and I imitate some vocal percussion. She smiles patiently, one of her front teeth is missing, it leaves a weepy cut on her bottom lip. I am becoming acutely aware of her foot pressing down on the accelerator, the street lights becoming comets as the engine growls like a lion.

Can we go slower / relax im a good driver / can we stop at maccas / you seriously want me to stop there what about the boycott also like i saw on twitter this thread about how all the meat they use is fake and like is made of bug protein you seriously dont want to eat zionist burger / bruh sorry im just really hungry right now i didnt eat before i came ok / bella hadid / no like my ritalin makes me forget to eat sometimes and then like i get super light headed / yeah true / i feel like i only take ritalin to study but i end up scrolling tiktok for hours instead yeah i guess im trying to stop using my phone so much like focus on the moment like i really want to focus on the art this year since im on a gap year / oh yeah what kind of stuff do you do / well i usually just do dancing like i did a residency in [redacted] and it was chill but like i really want to change mediums like i just am so sick of like dance people and like yeah i dont really know yet but i have been thinking about like starting a band idk / yeah thats cool like i have a mate thats in this like really cool noise band and like i saw them play last month and i was like woah i never seen anything like this before like this designer we both went to uni with made all the costumes of like pelts of like road kill they found yeah it was so dope if they have another gig like i will let you know we can go with patty and like other people that were there tonight / yeah that would be nice like after coming back to sydney from [redacted] im trying to find out whats cool here i feel like im so out of the loop / yeah true 

Rachel/Bessie/Maria/Margot turns the car down a street that ends at a redbrick apartment complex, the light is still on in the foyer. She revs the engine.

Please stop I think you enjoy this too much please let me get out / but we’re having fun / no this joke isn’t funny anymore / no why can’t we have fun / we’re going to crash HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHA

Her Toyota Corolla smashed through the window. I remember glass étoiles and thinking how much I hated the abstract paintings they put in lobbies.  I hope my art doesn’t end up there and just focusing on RBMM’s smile, and that chipped tooth, how her tongue stuck out inviting shrapnel like tasting snowflakes. i'm upset because i wore my favourite sexy outfit tonight to impress [redacted] but he didn’t look at me. Im like a freaking derpina and he’s like a jock in his like chad energy. It feels like a console shattering your ribs, it's like punctured lungs ugh. i’d prefer to die here than survive and be ugly. I can’t afford doe eye surgery or to go to Turkey. And I’m mad at RBMM, I THINK she’s a lesbian for wanting to die with me. We’re not fucking Thelma and Louise. I'm not Yuri. I don’t even know her. She’s so random.

FIN.