Use this sound for good luck

I’m asking Chat GPT for spiritual guidance. I’m Eminem’s real daughter. I’m going to join a cult if I can find one. I’m googling ‘how to survive sexuality’ like Lohanthony. I’m doing subliminals to you. Are they working? What’s your star sign? Did you hear about The Miracle? It’s going to come and take you far, far away from here. All you have to do is use this sound for good luck. It doesn’t matter how many other sounds you’ve skipped, just DON’T skip this one. Or do and suffer the consequences at exactly 1:34 AM tonight.

I was looking at love spells on Reddit (r/lovespells) and I found one that said to write the name of the person you want to attract on a piece of paper six times with your name over the top 6 times in the opposite direction. Write your intentions. For example, ‘he thinks about me all the time’, ‘he wants to be with me.’ Wrap the piece of paper towards you around the knife and tie it multiple times with a piece of red thread. Pee in a plastic bottle and put the knife inside. Close the lid and recite “(their name), I bind you to me until I lift this spell” a few times until it feels right. Meditate while visualising the spell working. And finally, leave the bottle in a place where it won’t be disturbed, such as by a creek or in a basement under your house. I’m not crazy. I didn’t do all that, but I did somewhat absentmindedly write his name in my journal with mine over the top. Seven times instead of six because the latter felt too satanic.

I’m intentionally inducing artificial mania by disrupting my circadian rhythms, increasing my caffeine intake, restricting calories, and promoting nocturnal physical activity. I love exploring neurochemical extremes.

I’ve been feeling extra sensitive to demonic imagery and messaging lately. Lana Del Rey summoning the devil with her hands while she sings. Fans fainting en masse at her concerts, screaming “Kill me! Kill me, Lana!”. Cameras glitching, contorting faces. I can’t listen to ASMR anymore because there’s something evil about the way they look dead straight into the camera, trying to lull me to sleep so they can invade my dreams with dark subliminal messages. Interrupting my half-sleep with ads for a new mattress. Rain sounds for sleep don’t work on me either. I don’t like waking up in the middle of the night to white noise blaring in my headphones. Who knows what kind of contact that’s making with my subconscious? When I was in Japan, I started to get freaked out by the sound of Suica cards tapping on and off, like high-pitched bird chirping.

Did you know you’re probably a master alchemist and didn’t even know it? If you catch yourself around a person sending you negative energy and you create something positive out of that, then you’re an alchemist. Yes, I am a Energy Alchemy!! Our *red heart emoji* has a magnetic field and it is a centre for both energy fields. + and - combine to make a life force. Polarity is everywhere and needed for life.

Satan had a foothold on Elfbabe08. She used to make Forever21 hauls, hair tutorials, bedroom makeovers, DIYs. She was a secret alcoholic with extreme anorexia until she found the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. ‘Bethelbots’ are equipped by the church not just to minister in the gifts of the Spirit but to live a supernatural lifestyle. They hang around parking lots and grocery stores, asking people with wheelchairs and walking sticks if they can pray for them to be healed. They deliver people from suicide, addiction, and eating disorders. They make symptoms of autism disappear by sending text messages. They can even resurrect the dead. Elfbabe08 says the power and spirit of God is alive and working. Her recent videos are about recovering from trauma and addiction through having faith in God. She lets her handler, Britain Fairly (fake name), do most of the talking. Britain says, “I love when she goes ‘I am not a number on a scale or a number on a screen. My worth is in Jesus’.”

Animus unlocked, frontal lobe developed, chakras aligned, microdose consumed, trauma healed, sinuses cleared. Intellectually based. I'm going limitless mode.

I watched an influencer read her coffee grounds in a vlog. She saw a magistrate; a wise, holy man. Deep purple energy, a protector, or dream spirit. She said he was looking over his shoulder, like “are you coming?”. There were some animals following behind him, and I was among them. I know she was talking to me because she looked right into the camera as she said it. She told me it was my destiny. That no matter how far I stray, or how long I take, he’ll always be there, checking over his shoulder to make sure I’m still on my path.

Are you an Arcturian starseed? Starseeds are souls that choose to inhabit the earth from far away parts of the universe. Descendents of the Arcturians have realised that separateness is an illusion, and the impact of planet Earth’s collective actions spans much further than we are aware of. If you feel that you might be an Arcturian starseed but you’re struggling to reach your potential, it may be due to blocked chakras. A guide to successfully unblocking chakras can be found here.

I caught a boy quoting Timothée Chalamet to me once. A video came up on my For You page while he was pissing of Timothée in a press interview, saying “you can be the master of your fate. You can be the captain of your soul. But you have to realise life is coming from you not at you.” I remembered us sitting in a cafe once, him asking me if I felt like life came “from me or at me.” I let the video play again when he was back in bed next to me just to see how he’d react. He laughed and said he’d been wondering when I would come across it. Turns out it wasn’t a Timothée Chalamet original quote at all, but one from a poem called Invictus. Invictus meaning unconquered, which I am not.

Have you heard of the halo effect? It’s about how people associate attractiveness with positive traits such as kindness, intelligence, and sociability. I think it would have all been different if I was born with a better canthal tilt and a greater degree of facial symmetry. A stronger aura. Potassium-maxxing is the new thing. 4 bananas and 2 litres of coconut water a day.

I got my fortune told at the Senso-Ji Temple in Tokyo. I paid 100 Yen to rattle a box until a stick came out with the number 32 on it, leading me to its corresponding drawer. I took a slip of paper out and read my fortune. The title was ‘worst luck.’ In vague and badly translated English, it said something about my wish not being fulfilled by fate, meaning I would have to seek it out for myself. This seemed like good advice to me, but a man told me I was supposed to tie it to a tree to symbolise that I was leaving my bad fortune behind. I wouldn’t have minded carrying my bad luck around with me in my wallet.

I worry sometimes that I’ll be waiting my whole life to win a lotto that I haven’t even entered. I just want to believe in something. Who cares if it's a conspiracy theory or a fake reality TV show or a government psyop? All I’m looking for is a ticket.

The entire universe is on your side and rooting for you to get what you want. This is your lucky sound. Make a wish!