RANKED: The Top 5 Places on Campus to Have a Breakdown During STUVAC

By Madeline Ward

There are certain times of the year that can really test your commitment to a higher education: STUVAC is perhaps the most nefarious of them all. Inappropriately termed a study ‘vacation’, STUVAC is a timescape lifted from the deepest chasms of hell, a 5-day long trauma that has you questioning every decision that has led you to this point in your university experience. The University of Sydney’s woefully inadequate mental health services and student support systems only serve to heighten the sheer terror of catching up on 13 weeks of content in one, whilst you try to balance working enough so that you still can still afford to treat yourself to fun things like paying for rent and food. Fear not, my overworked comrade! The University may only have one psychologist, but at least there’s therapaws.

5. Patting a Therapy Dog

This activity is more suited to a gentle sob, the kind you can pass off as the result of an overly emotional encounter with a cute animal, rather than the reality of that test on Monday you’re fairly sure you’re going to fail. Who needs adequate mental health care and support when you have therapy dogs?  

4. Yoga in the Library

Practice #selfcare by taking an hour out of your busy study schedule to disassociate in a darkened library meeting room.

3. CAPS

CAPS may seem like the most responsible location for a breakdown on this list, but good luck getting that supporting documentation for a special consideration request.

2. On the Phone to 1800 SYD UNI Trying to Work Out Why Your Special Consideration Request From a Month Ago Hasn’t Been Approved Yet

Yeah, you might have submitted your special consideration a month ago, but it’s a busy time of the year! What, like you just expected to be able to access student support services during a stressful period that is made infinitely worse by factors of hardship outside of your control?

1. Your Unit Coordinators Office, Whilst Begging for an Extension

Only joking! Special consideration applications are dealt with by a crack team of administrative staff and robots through a highly flawed and insensitive system now-a-days, so the most you’ll achieve with this is a simple extension and an increased sense of shame that will plague you for weeks after you start crying in front of your favourite lecturer.

The University’s support services are nothing short of fried, but you can contact the SRC Casework team for help navigating them.