PULP RANKED: Top 7 Excuses for When You're Approached by an SRC Campaigner

By Sylvia Lee

It’s that time of year again. If you haven’t already heard, we are deep into election season and you know what that means... With just a few hours left to vote for your fave presidential candidate and Honi editors, those pesky student campaigners are really amping it up on Eastern Avenue. If you desperately don’t want to end up being walked all the way to a polling booth even if you’re supposedly running late to a lecture with strict attendance, we have you sorted! Here are some foolproof excuses to use when/if you get approached by an SRC campaigner.

7. Use that RBF for good  

 If you want to avoid interacting with a campaigner altogether, flaunt the Resting Bitch Face (RBF) that’s always scared off potential friends and dates. This time, the bane of your social life will be your biggest asset. To increase your chances of success, ensure you wear your headphones and avoid eye contact at all costs. 

6. You’ve already voted 

 In a post-truth world, what does it matter if this is the biggest lie of your life? The trick is to commit to it: “Oh, I’ve already voted. Definitely not lying. Yep.” Keep calm and carry on. 

5. “She doesn’t even go here!”

 Take a page out of Mean Girls and say you’re from any other uni except USYD. I once told a campaigner, “I actually go to WSU” and a lot of people may have judged me. But hey, it worked, didn’t it? For extra chances of success, opt for a rival uni. UNSW, I’m looking at you. 

4. You’re still in Year 12 

 With the HSC coming up in a month, it isn’t so far-fetched to throw on your old Year 12 jersey and pretend you’re on the way to Fisher Library to cram for your English Advanced exams… You’re probably gonna get some hate, but oh well, anything to avoid exercising your democratic rights, right? 

3. English? I don’t know her 

This one should only be used if you, like me, are multilingual and/or come from a non-English speaking background. It is the most obnoxious excuse and should be approached with caution. 

2. Wear a campaigner t-shirt 

This is basically the SRC equivalent of a democracy sausage. If you’re friends with one of the campaigners, you might be able to get your hands on this prized commodity. Wear it with pride and both campaigners and potential voters will be avoiding you. 

1. Make a run for it 

Yes, I’m serious. If all fails, it may have to come to this.