Why I’m obsessed with Anna Marie Tendler’s Instagram
Katarina Kuo reflects on the documentation of loss and womanhood in the digital age.
The parasitic nature of contemporary media means that celebrities are subjected, willingly or otherwise, to a degree of broadcasted surveillance. This is only magnified in times of personal upheaval as emotional turmoil is exploited for profits and entertainment. Anna Marie Tendler has defied this practice, transforming invasive media attention into artistic endeavour for the world to see.
I first heard of Tendler in her now ex-husband John Mulaney’s comedy special, The Comeback Kid. In jest, Mulaney described just how much he liked this “bossy little Jew.” After a deep stalk, I began to like her a lot too. Tendler is an incredibly interesting artist who works across a range of disciplines, including photography, textiles and drawing. Her master’s thesis looked at the sociocultural politics of female aesthetics as analysed through medical texts.
Earlier this year, Tendler and Mulaney announced their divorce after six years of marriage. Media coverage of their split has been relentless and gossipy - emphasising that the split was Mulaney’s decision, delving into his struggles with substance abuse, and, more recently, discussing his plans to start a family with actress Olivia Munn. During all this, Tendler’s Instagram page has become one of the most brilliant artistic uses of a public platform that I’ve ever seen. Her use of social media is a stunning example of artistry in the digital age and the documentation of loss on social media, particularly as a woman in the public eye.
When the news of her divorce broke on Mothers’ day, Tendler posted a photo cradling her French Bulldog like a baby, with the caption “Happy Mothers’ Day to all the women who have chosen unconventional paths of motherhood, and to those for whom the unconventional paths have chosen them.” Tendler is seated in the middle of a bedroom, wearing a long black dress and a sheer blindfold - an image reminiscent of ‘The Execution of Lady Jane Grey’. With neatly made but empty bunk beds on either side of the room, there is an unmistakable sense that this is an image of mourning. Her split from Mulaney would be no secret to her 250,000 followers, many of whom began following her during her marriage. With Tendler placed in all black in the centre of a wide photo, seeing it on Instagram is like watching a public burial of what has been lost.
Days later, Tendler shared another similar portrait. The photo, captioned “New Moon in Taurus”, shows Tendler burning sage in her house – an ancient practice used to cleanse a person or space from unwanted spirits or energy. The caption recalls the astrological meaning of the new moon, which signals the beginning of a new lunar cycle: a fresh start. Tendler is dressed in white, and faces away from the camera. This photo, unlike the last, is distinctly hopeful, conveying a sense of feminine rebirth and new beginnings.
Tendler’s next upload was a photo titled “Dinner in March”. It shows Tendler sitting alone at the head of a wooden dining table. Two places are set – Tendler’s, and one at the opposite end of the table. The chair opposite Tendler is also pulled out, but empty, and a chandelier looms above an otherwise dark room. Tendler is wearing a long, white gown, resting her head against her hand and looking towards the place setting at the other end of the other table. From her facial expression and body language, it almost looks as if she is pleading with someone, yet no one is there. This is my favourite of Tendler’s photos – it is such a beautiful image of loss and longing. With no husband and no children to share them with, symbols of domesticity – the dining table, the chandelier, the dress – belong only to her.
Many of the photos shared on Tendler’s Instagram come from her most recent photo series, rooms in the first house, which chronicles her experience of “loss, anger, and powerlessness, as well as the reclamation of identity”. The title of the series is a reference to the first astrological house, the house of the self, but can also be interpreted more literally to reference an actual house. Most of the photos are shot inside an empty house, conjuring a haunting and ghostly depiction of domesticity.
Many artists’ transition to social media is clunky. Yet Tendler’s has been, in every way imaginable, perfect. Social media intrinsically shapes the meaning of the art that it platforms. As Tendler invites a digital audience of almost 250,000 to understand her side of the story, a certain voyeurism becomes part of her art. That sense of observation from afar has been central to Tendler’s experience – not just given her position in the public eye, but because of the heightened scrutiny on divorced women more broadly. As celebrities, Tendler and Mulaney’s divorce has been very public and messy, but she has managed to incorporate this seamlessly into her artistic voice. To co-opt a conversation focused on gossip and gear it towards art and beauty is not only genius, but incredibly hopeful. Tendler’s Instagram reveals how social media can become an interesting new medium for the production of art, and for the reclamation of identity as an artist and as a woman.
Cover photo by Anna Marie Tendler. The full collection can be found here: https://annamarietendler.com/work/rooms-of-self