How to Have Safe Sex

By Wilson Huang

Sexuality has been a taboo topic for a long time and still is for many people, including those who come from conservative religious backgrounds. Many people don’t know what safe sex is and don’t understand ways you can safely explore your sexuality. While safe/r sex is diverse, generally, it involves practices that reduce or eliminate the risk of transmission of sexually transmitted infections. But how do you do it? 

There isn’t one way, but safer sex can involve the use of medication, vaccines, barrier protection and non-penetration. Even with these methods, it is important to understand that generally, if someone has transmissible STIs, they can still be passed if bodily fluids come into contact (into areas which can be infected that can include genitalia and broken skin depending on the STI). 

Firstly, the use of medication and vaccines can protect against infection of certain STIs. Vaccines that can protect against STIs include Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B and HPV. HIV transmission can also be prevented by medications for both HIV positive and negative people. HIV Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) can prevent someone from getting HIV. Someone who is HIV positive can achieve an undetectable viral load (UVL) through medication which functions as TasP (treatment as prevention). UVL presents no risk for HIV transmission. As a last resort, HIV Post-Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP) can be used after potential HIV transmission within 72 hours but ASAP. 

Secondly, the most common way to have safer sex is to use barrier protection such as condoms and dental dams. While I am not going to explain how to use a condom (check it out here), I will explain why they work. Infection with STIs generally occurs through the exchange of bodily fluids. While it depends on the specific STIs (and some also pass through blood to blood contact), preventing this exchange can prevent STIs as well as unwanted pregnancies. Barrier protection (along with water-based lube) can reduce or stop this exchange. Just to be clear, pre-cum can pass on STIs.

Finally, there are also other ways of experiencing sexuality that do not carry the same risks as your typical anal or vaginal sex. Oral sex has a lower risk for many STIs such as HIV (generally very low) but can still pass on common ones such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis. The safest form of sexual activity is solo masturbation (because you don’t have anyone you can get an STI from). 

Also, non-penetrative (sexual) activity such as kissing (deep throat kissing may be associated with gonorrhoea transmission), mutual masturbation, cuddling, massage, frottage (or frotting), and ejaculating on unbroken skin will not usually give you STIs. The only exceptions are herpes (generally manageable for healthy people), HPV (consider getting vaccinated), and other skin-to-skin transmissible infections.  

Overall, it should be clear that having safer sex is definitely achievable. If you are sexually active or have unprotected sex, you should get tested at least two times per year. Generally, it is not advisable to get tested straight away as infections have window periods before they can be detected by a test which can range from around 1-2 weeks for chlamydia and gonorrhoea to 1-3 months for an HIV antigen/antibody test. Generally, getting tested after three months should be accurate for all common STIs. You can get tested at sexual health clinics, your GP, at home for HIV or online. Remember many STIs can be asymptomatic. If you have any questions you can get some help here.