Bender Bench Press: How to Be Your Best Self Whilst on the Sesh

By Dominic Causely Todd

I’m not great at the whole studying part of uni, or attending classes, but I’m pretty great at the part of uni that we all love more than the study itself: the Sesh. This is your guide to build and maintain your health and fitness on a bender. 

 Rule 1: Stay Hydrated

This may seem a little obvious but if you’re on a bender, hangovers are what cripples you from kicking on and will stop you from getting to work the day after. There’s nothing worse than going out the night before you were meant to meet up with your mates for a session of day drinking and being so hungover you can’t move. It’s lame! The little secret here is gin/vodka sodas. When the beer, wine and shots are getting to you a gin and soda will keep you hydrated and in it for the long haul. 

Rule 2: Keep Your Phone Charged

You need an exit strategy for any time drugs and/or alcohol are involved. Safety is number one priority and let’s be honest, things can go wrong when substances are involved. The second your phone gets to low power mode you need to find a charger or someone to get you home/somewhere to crash. Your phone is your get out of jail free card: do not lose it and do not let it go flat. It’s also handy to keep it around for a convenient flat surface. 

Rule 3: Don’t Be a Dick

This should be a general rule for life but here it matters more. People’s judgements aren’t going to be what they normally are and these states can ruin any brand of relationships:  friends, partners, family or colleagues. Even when your jaw is swinging or you’re not sure what planet you’re on, make an extra effort to be aware of how you’re affecting other people and their experience. The sesh isn’t just about you, you’re going to have a lot more fun if everyone else is enjoying themselves too. So, don’t be a dick. 

Rule 4: Look After the People You’re With

Rule 4 ties in closely with rule 3. If you’re with mates you’ve known for years or a few hours it’s your responsibility to make sure that they’re safe and have a good time. Make sure they don’t do anything too stupid or dangerous (to themselves or anyone else). Don’t get me wrong, watching someone high/drunk embarrass themselves is straight up hilarious but there’s a line. They need to keep their jobs the next day and need to not end up in prison. If someone wants to get behind a wheel, make sure they don’t. If someone wants to commit a serious felony, make sure they don’t. Nothing sours the taste of a bender than it ending in a police station and/or a hospital. 

Rule 5: Have Fun

I get that this is a little obvious but these kinds of activities are only good if you’re genuinely having fun. If you’re not feeling it; go home. Benders are expensive and have consequences. Make sure you’re enjoying yourself enough to warrant that. There’s nothing wrong with calling it a day. There will always be another one. Don’t force yourself to have a good time. Sure, that illicit pick me up could make you feel incredible but that’s not the point. You want to be feeling great and having a blast and then adding to that with booze and/or substances. They’re just supplements that facilitate the good times, not creators of it. 

Rule 6: Remember What’s Important

These nights/days/weeks can be the most fun you’ve had and create long lasting memories and friendships: but at the end of the day there’s more important shit. If partying messes with your relationships, mental health, general wellbeing, family, career or uni then call a time out. Sure, rocking up to work dusty or scat is definitely part of the experience and we’ve all done it, but don’t get yourself fired, don’t miss an assignment or your mum’s birthday. Keep your priorities in order and you’re going to have a great time

I know this is very prescriptive and a lot of it is quite hypocritical but if you look after yourself on your next sesh hopefully you can have plenty more.