HOW TO: Do Safe Drugs

By Madeline Ward

Pulp Media and the USU do not condone recreational drug use

Young people use drugs, and will continue to use drugs regardless of their legality. Even if you personally are morally opposed to recreational drug use: surely it’s better to ensure that those who are using drugs are doing so in the safest way possible? This is the spirit in which the following is written. I’ve written up advice for the safe consumption of cocaine, weed, and MDMA, because these are the three I assume you’ll be most likely to encounter over the course of Welcome Week. So tonight, before you accept a pill of dubious origins from someone you met in the smoking area of the Marly, take a moment to remember the following.

Cocaine

A favourite of both investment bankers and hospitality workers, cocaine is the most expensive drug on this week. I’m going to assume then, unless they go to college or are members of the young liberal party, that the way most students are accessing cocaine is by means of charming a line or bump out of a generous stranger (or their richer friends) I’m not going to tell you not to do this, but I would recommend that you make sure you’re not accidentally about to rack some ketamine, and that you let your friends know who you’re about to disappear into a toilet cubicle with. Cocaine increases the heart rate and raises blood pressure, so don’t touch it if you have issues with either of these things. It can also lead to anxiety, so use with caution if you’re someone who is affected by anxiety or similar mental health issues. This goes for almost all drugs, but do not mix Cocaine with other substances, and be mindful of what prescription medication you’re on and the way it interacts with Cocaine. Coke is quite often cut with other drugs, which means its effects can be unpredictable: so if you’re feeling sick or having a bad mental health day it’s probably best to stay off the nose beers.

MDMA

This bad boy is the party drug you’re most likely to encounter while out and about, whether you’re taking it or witnessing the effects of it on people who have taken it (yes, their jaw does look fucked. Don’t tell them that) MDMA is a little safer than coke, but you should still be making sure that you’re buying from a reliable source. Be aware that MDMA may intensify any feelings (good or bad) that you may be experiencing, and can exacerbate the symptoms of anxiety. Watch out for the symptoms of heat stroke while you’re taking it, especially if you’re in the sun or in an enclosed space with lots of people. Drink water, but not too much water, as MDMA causes water retention. Stick to the rule of a glass every hour, and Gatorade is even better if you can keep some on you. Don’t mix it with other drugs that increase heart rate or blood pressure, and don’t take too much too quickly: take your first dose and then wait for the effects to kick in before you even think of taking a second. If you have any pre-existing medical conditions, like cardiovascular disease, avoid it. Lastly: MDMA is the most fun drug on this list, but make sure you tell the people that you’re with that you’re on it, so that they know what’s going on when your eyes and jaw get a bit wacky.

Marijuana

Weed is the safest drug on this list, and probably the one you’re most likely to be offered this week. As with all drugs, if it’s your first time make sure you’re with people you trust and who are (ideally) sober. Marijuana can make you paranoid, so make sure you’re in a good place with your mental health before you take it for the first time. Don’t take too much, or you’ll green out and make an ass out of yourself, and make sure you drink water. Keep snacks within reach for when the munchies inevitably hit, and take it at home or somewhere where you can lie down for a bit if you’re overwhelmed. Most importantly, remember the golden rule: beer before grass, you’re on your arse; grass before beer, you’re in the clear.

Pulp Editors