Being present with pastry

Emily Graetz is chopping, kneading and whisking her way through lockdown. 

As another covid induced lockdown drags on, we’ve yet again found ourselves confined to our homes. With in-personal socialising off the table, I’ve turned to the actual kitchen table for a bit of lockdown comfort. In doing so, I’ve gained not only a deeper appreciation of the art of baking, but also a lesson or two about being mindful and present. 

Heralding from Buddhist practices, mindfulness is a form of meditation that has been reported to sharpen attention, increase resilience to stress, offer a dose of compassion and improve relationships, amongst a whole host of other benefits. Put simply, mindfulness is the practice of staying present and aware of ourselves and our environment. 

On the whole, it’s generally a pretty popular treatment option for those struggling with mental ill health and wanting to improve elements of their day to day lives. Every psychologist I’ve seen since my teens has recommended mindfulness in some form to aid in my anxiety. If you haven’t been personally recommended to give it a go, a simple internet search or trip to your local library will do it for you.  

Whilst I intellectually understand the value of mindfulness (like body-scans and breathing exercises) I struggle to engage with them. Sitting down to ‘relax’ is a bit of a challenge, I find silent meditations unpleasant and I’d much rather bulldoze my way through a hearty to-do list when I’m looking for that calm sense of satisfaction. 

Given that, when my best friend sent me a deliciously detailed baking cook-book in last year’s lockdown, I leapt to the challenge. It fulfilled all my hobby criterias: productive, procedural and something to share with others. Much to my surprise, I’ve come to learn that kneading dough, tempering chocolate and cutting cookies is not just about making something tasty. It can also be a conscious act of staying present, a mindful practice. 

Baking forces me to put away all the distractions, plan for one small act at a time and stay focussed on the task at hand. Stray too far from the mixmaster and your creme fraiche is over whipped. Forget to read over the recipe twice and you realise you don’t actually have enough chocolate for the filling and the topping. Remember you haven’t got any baking weights and you have to take the time to consider what alternatives you can scrounge up from your kitchen. 

I have had many a pastry turn out distorously, produced grainy muffins and once even whipped a meringue that looked and tasted like foam (don’t ask how, I simply don’t know). Sometimes disaster strikes and I can salvage my creation with a quick internet search or by adding more flour and then more milk and then more flour… but mostly I just have to accept that the product looks nothing like the picture and meringue will sometimes taste like foam. 

Sure, I love baking because who doesn’t enjoy a sweet treat and it’s fun to share your hobbies with hungry housemates. But it’s also so much more than the end product. Baking forces me to slow down, focus in and stay present with myself. 

Of course, scientists and psychologists alike will caution that practising mindfulness is deeply individual and the positive impacts will vary from person to person. It’s certainly no more superior to any other approach like seeing a psychologist or medication if that’s the right thing for you. 

I’m also certainly no advocate for the lockdown rhetoric that suggests we should always be hustling, self-improving and productive. Let’s face it, given everything that’s happening, you’re doing enough by just existing and making it through the day. But leaning into a hobby that encourages me to stay present and isn’t about success has meant that I’ve been able to practise mindfulness in a way that makes sense to me. I’ve learnt that there’s no one way to look after your mental health.

Whether it’s watching your sourdough rise, dropping stitches like there’s no tomorrow in your first ever scarf or noticing the new leaves on your plant, these quiet moments may be a chance to stay present with yourself in a way that makes sense to you - even if only for a moment.

Everyone has experienced lockdowns in different ways and the prolonged lockdown can be tough on mental health. Remember, if you or anyone you know needs help here are some mental health hotlines you can contact:

Lifeline on 13 11 14

Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800

MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978

Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636

Butterfly Foundation on 1800 33 4673

Headspace on 1800 650 890

ReachOut at au.reachout.com