Scubar to Shut its Doors

For 20 years Sydney’s teenagers and international backpackers have flocked to a single location on a Monday night: Scubar. Though, it was yesterday announced that the cultural icon would close.

“All good things must come to and end”, the Facebook page read much to the chagrin of the bar’s 15,000 likers.

The club, which is located next to Central Station has often been considered a symbol of debauchery and sweat. Patrons would dance to Top 40s songs well into the early ours of the morning, lubricated by copious amounts of Long Island iced teas.

While the bar resembled an aging, decrepit storage area to the uninitiated, it will be best remembered for its moist flaw, hideous décor and most importantly its regretful DF hook-ups.

I spoke to Toby, a long time patron of Scubar to get his thoughts on an historic day:

“Scubar symbolises a period in my life marked by an inherent lack of responsibility that all first-year school leavers flourish upon.”

Juxtaposed by Christ Church St. Laurence, perhaps the most beautiful church in Sydney, it was perhaps fitting that the dankest club in Sydney was situated directly underneath. However, no more will patrons of the bar and parishioners awkwardly cross paths after Evensong. Instead, like the Alfred Hotel, it would seem the famed club will be resigned to a memory in the hearts of many Sydney siders.

Famed as the meeting place of Australian cricket captain Steven Smith and his current wife, Scubar’s closure will leave a deep scare in the psyche of horny teenagers. As Toby put it:

“Its closing will be exponentially damaging to many who have looked to Scubar for leadership and a dusty start to the uni week. This city will never be the same again.”