10 Words and Phrases Agatha Christie Used Which We Should All Be Using Today
By Marlow Hurst
Agatha Christie has given many things to our humble world: gripping stories, corkscrew plot twists, and a bundle of murder mystery cliches to call upon. But one of her lesser mentioned contributions is her vocabulary. She’s always been good at turning a phrase, but the way she captures the speech of the British upper class never ceases to amaze me. So, here are 10 words and phrases Agatha Christie used which we should all be using today.
‘Fizzing’
Adjective
Definition: Extremely or intensely
Quote: “It’s a fizzing hot day isn’t it?”
This gem is sure to win you many laughs. It’s got a sort of whimsy about it which is rarely found in words today and which the world sorely needs. I’d suggest using this phraseological morsel when doing a mocking impression of the fabulously wealthy in an effort to undermine them. It’ll go down a treat!
‘Queer Street’
Noun (phrase)
Definition: An odd place or a tight spot.
Quote: “We’re on Queer Street now alright.”
Fictional locales have always been a favourite of mine. This one in particular evokes those storied classics like “Lametown, population: you” or “The party express is leaving the station.” Queer Street is similar, except it has such sparse use in the present day that it’ll impart a zesty freshness on those who hear it. Find yourself in an odd part of town in the dead of night? You’re on Queer Street alright! Knees buckling under the crushing weight of debt and financial despair? You, my friend, are on Queer Street. I’d suggest using this zinger after turning a street corner to find yourself in a derelict part of the city now inhabited by a cannibalistic secret society. They’ll love it!
‘Rum’
Adjective
Definition: Odd or peculiar
Quote: “Now that was a rum thing to do.”
Now this is a saucy little number! It’s small, it’s compact, and above all: it’s efficient. It conveys a lot of meaning in very few words while still retaining a roguish charm about it. To break it down in a more tangible sense, there are three letters in the word rum and about 25 letters worth of magnificence. I’d suggest deploying this spiced lexical cocktail while displaying a distinct lack of compassion over the recent murder of one of your party guests. Like rum itself, it’s sure to leave a satisfying burn!
‘Cut the cackle and come to the horses’
Phrase
Definition: Stop waffling and get to the point.
Quote: “For God's sake man, cut the cackle and come to the horses will you. We haven’t got all day!”
This is the longest phrase I've offered up so far, and it shows. It’s positively dripping with rural sensibilities and makes me just want to cut the cackle and come to the damn horses. This is simply perfect for when you need to hurry a friend without sounding too harsh: it gets the message across while remaining playful and esoteric (a winning combination). If possible, I would advise you say this through a particularly bushy moustache as you puff on your pipe. I do recognise that not everyone has a bushy moustache and pipe available, so to achieve a similar affect say this: while eating some kind of oat based food, while drinking a particularly thick smoothie, or after choking on a stale tortilla chip. I’d suggest using this country gentleman of a phrase after a frightened house maid who says she saw someone leave the victim’s room stumbles over her words. You’ll be getting a vague, unhelpful description of the murderer in no time!
‘Foreign cock duck’
Noun (Phrase)
Definition: A derogatory term for a foreigner (?)
Quote: “You little foreign cock duck!”
Now let me be perfectly honest, I'm relying heavily on context clues here as this phrase is only used in one of Christie’s books (The Murder of Roger Ackroyd) and I can’t find a record of it being used beyond this book at all. Nevertheless, it is brilliant. What first appears to be a word salad, is a delectable ensemble of lexical flavours. In terms of how it came to be I have a theory, a questionable one, but a theory all the same. Similar to how a cock is a rooster, a cock duck could refer to a male duck. Perhaps male ducks are particularly pretentious or obnoxious? This would make sense as the phrase is used against Poirot and if ever I saw a male duck, he’d be it. I’d suggest using this baffling bit of bigotry as you refuse to allow a foreign doctor to save the life of your spouse or significant other. Will the guilt gnaw at you years later or will your hyper nationalism ease your conscience? Only time will tell.
‘Fooltommery’
Noun
Definition: A mis-structuring of tomfoolery (Tomfoolery meaning hijinks or mischief)
Quote: “You are up to some, how do you say, fooltommery?”
A foreign twist on a classic word. By doing the old switcheroo on tomfoolery you’re embracing the very spirit of tomfoolery itself by wreaking mischief and havoc on quite a stuffy bit of english. This is best paired with a vaguely European accent (preferably French, Belgian, or Dutch) and a healthy serving of wafty hand gestures. Really lean into the character of Poirot, the very man who coined this delightful phrase. I’d suggest serving up this dollop of mutated english as you act the bumbling foreigner in an effort to extract vital information from your witness. They’ll never see it coming!
‘Pigeon’
Noun
Definition: Business, responsibility or problem.
Quote: “He’s your pigeon not mine.”
As a first for this list, this one actually has a clear yet interesting etymological derivation. Apparently it comes from a 17th century pronunciation of the Chinese word for ‘business’. Therefore, by using this phrase you’re essentially saying “That’s none of my business.” While this does mean you could just as easily use business instead, I feel pigeon is more obscure and therefore a superior choice of word. Phrases are at their best when the receiving party has no idea what they mean. And by using pigeon, you’ll get the perfect opportunity to start monologuing about the fascinating Chinese roots of many English words and phrases. I’d suggest unleashing this 17th century zinger as you argue jurisdiction with your French police counterpart. It’ll annoy Monsieur Giraud to no end!
‘Het up’
Adjective (Phrase)
Definition: Irritated, tired or annoyed.
Alternative definition: Irritated, tired or annoyed with the heterosexuals.
Quote: “I’m het up with all of this nonsense!”
This is a wonderfully dynamic phrase as you can choose between either of its two meanings: het up in general or het up with the hets. Swap between the two at your own discretion, but remember that by learning this phrase you’re essentially getting two for the price of one. I’d suggest using this one after discovering that you, a Peer of the realm, are under suspicion for the murder of your sickly wife or after hearing about the Federal government’s freedom of religion legislation. Either will work just fine!
‘Life isn’t all beer and skittles’
Phrase
Definition: Life isn’t without misery or responsibilities.
Quote: “You know Malcolm, life isn’t all beer and skittles, sometimes you have to do things even when you don’t want to.”
Everyone needs a phrase to convey tough love in their repertoire, and this gets the job done very nicely. You may prefer the non alcoholic version “Life isn’t all ginger beer and skittles” if you so desire, but be safe in the knowledge that it’ll deliver a cutting blow to its recipient either way. If you’re truly committed to your craft, try saying this while leaning against an alley wall and taking a long drag of your cigarette. This phrase is for all the nihilists out there just itching to thrust their existential dread onto unsuspecting victims. I’d suggest lobbing this conversational grenade into the fray after confronting your naive younger sibling who’s convinced that their mother/father couldn’t possibly be guilty of murder.
Note: skittles in this case refers to bowling pins rather than the sweet. But hey, bowling’s fun as well.
‘Bottled’
Noun
Definition: The state or quality of drunkenness
Quote: “Ahh yeah, I was right bottled.”
We love our euphemisms for drunkenness in Australia and this one is exactly that. It’s certainly far more ‘common’ than the other phrases and words in this list, but its lack of aristocratic charm doesn’t do anything to undermine its usefulness. Of all the euphemisms for drunkenness this has to be my favourite, simply because it makes an abundance of sense and it’s markedly less visceral than some of our others (Pissed, smashed, munted etc). I’d suggest using this working class wise crack after the police question in reagrds to your presence at the pub on the night of the murder, but you can’t remember a thing because, say it with me now: you were bottled.