How Climbing Saved my Life

Words By the president of Usyd Bouldering Society Steff Leinasars

I first discovered bouldering in 2018 when I was an underweight anorexic, fresh out of the hospital. To avoid any potential triggers, I won’t be recounting numbers but know that I was not anywhere near healthy. I could barely stand. My movements were met with headaches, waves of nausea, often blacking out. And here I was, facing off a wall three times the size of me, enormous I thought. Did I mention I was just as terrified of heights as I was to put on weight?

I’ve tried to write about this a million times. I just don’t really know how to put into words how truly grateful I am for finding climbing. A sport? Some new gym obsession? No. I think anyone who really loves climbing would agree it’s something more than that. It's a part of me.

The first time I came to the wall, I could barely stand on my toes without being overcome with nerves. What if I fell? What if my arms couldn’t hold on tight enough? What if I wasn’t good enough? I don’t know what it was, but something called out to me. There were tears and my body shook with every move I made. And yet through all the nerves, pain and fear I felt reborn. My first session ended with me barely able to send a single climb, crying over VB rated climbs – but I wanted more. 

The more I climbed, the better I felt. The more alive I felt. I wanted to climb more but I knew I couldn’t, not with how I was. I had to eat. If I didn’t eat, my body couldn’t get enough energy. No energy meant no climbing, and I didn’t want that. I loved climbing, even if I wasn’t very good at it to begin with. I loved the way it made me feel. I loved the way I felt on the wall. I loved the way it made me feel stronger. It still does.

Climbing honestly saved my life. I couldn’t be more grateful for being so lucky to have found something that fills me with so much joy. Something that has lead to so many new friendships and opportunities. Climbing has created this little community for me which honestly, feels like a second family. Every time I see someone on the wall, there’s a group of us there with them shouting praise and helping them get through the climb. That’s one of the best things about climbing, you’re never alone in what you do. I’m so grateful for finding something to help me be friends with my body again.