Dear Pulp: Working and Dating in Isolation

Dear Pulp is a weekly series where we’ll solve your questions, dilemmas and disasters! If you have something looming in your life or a juicy secret you just can’t help but share (anonymously, duh), let us know via this form.

Dear Pulp, I met a guy and we got off really well, both being interested in each other. We’ve just had light chats and then the pandemic got worse. He told me he wasn’t doing well enough to be available at the moment, but that we should still talk as we’ve done for the past few weeks. He hasn’t responded in a while and it’s been agonising for me emotionally. I’m not sure if I should move on for my own sake or wait it out. I’ve offered any of my help but he said there wasn’t anything I could do so it’s just a waiting game.

This is a tricky one, but I think it’s important to take care of yourself - especially right now! If you have reached out on multiple occasions without a response, then I think it is best to move on. Communication is important in a relationship and although it’s understandable that he is going through something right now, just a message to let you know that he may not be responsive for a while would be nice. If you haven’t reached out that much maybe send him a message making sure he’s doing ok - and take it from there whether he responds or not. Either way, I would be really cautious of playing the waiting game because you’re already describing the large emotional toll it’s taking for you.I really hope you are staying safe please prioritise your mental health as well.

Dear Pulp, I cannot focus at all working from home. I wake up after lunchtime and my house is so noisy. I’ve completely lost my motivation even though I started this semester with a lot of discipline. How do I cope?

That is definitely a problem lots of people (including me) are struggling with at the moment - you’re not alone. The first thing to keep in mind is that it’s OK if you’re not coping that well or being super productive at the moment. You’re not obliged to use quarantine to write the next great novel, maintain an immaculate bullet journal or pick up a fitness habit. Life has changed quite a bit and it’s a very anxious time, so don’t blame yourself for finding it hard. 

One thing that can help with focus and motivation is to break things down into smaller chunks, which makes them seem more manageable. Each night, write down a basic list of things to get done the next day. Aim to make it as simple as possible - prioritise the most important things. When you’re trying to do work, give yourself simple rewards to help your work efficiently; for example, for each 200 words go for a short walk or take a break. This breaks up the work so you don’t end up working for ages with little to show for it. 

As for your house being noisy, I’ve been trying to block out noise with music. If you have a backyard or balcony you could also try getting outside. There’s no perfect solution, but by trying to stay focussed it’ll be easier to cope with the noise.