We all remember that fateful day back in Week 4 of Semester 1 2021. Rumours abound that a certain White Witch had been sighted on campus — none other than Tilda Swinton had deigned to grace our humble university with her presence. Filming scenes for the then fledgling 3000 Years of Longing, George Miller’s return-to-form historinarrative feature film, Swinton zipped around Camperdown Campus on an all inclusive tour. This was to be a film that put USyd on the map; a sentiment that was only reinforced when the trailer dropped no less than four months ago. Around 15 seconds in, the viewer is treated to a lingering, three second shot of Swinton herself sitting in the Taste Baguette foyer. Surely just a slice of this movie’s (presumably) sizable filmography of USyd vistas, backdrops, and environs. Well, I hope you didn’t wait 3000 (longing) years in anticipation, because this film treated USyd like a bottled genie.

All up, the University of Sydney features for a measly 29 seconds across three scenes in the 108-minute long film (that works out to be roughly 0.4% of the runtime). Through expert analysis, extensive fieldwork, and an intimate knowledge of campus, I’ve been able to pin down the filming locations for each of those scenes and see how they stack-up against the real deal.

1. Taste Baguette foyer (6 seconds): As rain pelts down onto Eastern Avenue and umbrella-wielding students sprint for cover, narrative scholar Alithea, played by Tilda Swinton, sits on a table and chair near the concrete pillar inside Taste’s northern entrance. It’s a quiet and contemplative sequence, tinged by Alithea’s solitude and the impossible romance she finds herself caught up in. Yet, all I can focus on is the outlandishly inaccurate portrayal of Taste Baguette. While a table and chair can be found in the real Taste foyer, they are far less stylised than their movie counterparts. On the other hand, the concrete pillar in the background is decidely more real (and structurally significant!) I cannot say the same for its posters though, which advertise a protest for freedom of information and a snap assembly on the Oxford greens. Home grown announcements can be seen peeking through the facade though, with a notice for the “Keep Left” conference visible through the gaps. But it’s more than set dressing that gives away the game, as Alithea’s actions are what ulimately which reveal the deceit of this scene: it’s one magnitude of madness to eat lunch in the Taste foyer, but it’s another magnitude altogether to not even have a location-appropriate baguette. I hope you enjoyed your nondescript soup and generically-branded coffee Tilda!

2. Fisher Library level 1, Rare Books reading room (8 seconds): Alithea knuckles down with piles of books in the bowels of Fisher. Tucked away in a reading room at the far northern end of Fisher’s level 1, her presence in the room seems questionable. Of the many books that litter her table, none appear to be part of the library’s rare books collection — which calls into question why she’s using the rare books reading room in the first place! Either way, it’s a joy to see Tilda Swinton engaging in scholastic rigour at our very own temple to academia.

3. Chemistry Building, lecture theatre 1 (15 seconds): Clocking in at 15 seconds, the majority of the film’s USyd content is shot in an unassuming Chemistry Building lecture theatre — not exactly an iconic location, but it’s good to see the USyd mise-en-scène move away from Manning and the Quad. It took some time for me to pin down the exact theatre, but a number of visual identifiers confirm its credentials: the shape of the desks, the placement of demonstration tables, the positioning of the blackboard, and the general geography of the space. Yet, they’ve evidently made a few alterations in pre or post-production, or the lecture theatre itself has undergone some renovations since March 2021. A now-absent clock can be seen above the door, the vibrant green exit sign has vanished, and some significant electrical wiring and casing has gone poof. When will Hollywood’s glamour scramble stop? The changes aren’t entirely unwelcome though and, in many ways, they really elevate the location. It allows for Swinton’s Alithea to mime her lecture without distraction and hammers home its intended old world antiquity.

So there you have it, an exhaustive review of the three scenes they shot at the University of Sydney for 3000 Years of Longing. While it otherwise received glowing reviews from critics and audiences, I’d strongly recommend you don’t see this film if you’re interested in genuine USyd cinema. With only 29 seconds of footage and an uninspiring (if not pleasingly obscure) selection of locations, you’d be better off watching Simon Target’s Uni (1996) documentary.

Review: the scenes they shot at USyd in 3000 Years of Longing

Barely a look-in.