Survival tips for the upcoming vibe shift

The apocalypse is coming, and it's time to dress the part!

Image Credit: Rhea Thomas

The apocalypse is coming, and it's time to dress the part! You’ve heard of gorpcore, you’ve heard of dystopia-core – now, get ready for survival-core. With impending doom on the horizon, it's good to look your best while the world feels its worst.

Drizabone Jacket

Straggling for supplies amidst a dusty outback landscape, or shielding yourself from clouds of acid rain? Look no further than an old drizabone jacket. Brown, leathery, sustainable and vintage, this coat will protect you from both the elements and the fashion police.

Gas Masks

Let’s face it, face masks are so last lockdown, and this pandemic isn’t going away anytime soon. On top of this, we are noting the impending nuclear war with Russia in our calendars smack bang in Fall Season. The air is becoming harder to breathe, and I, for one, am tired of the way disposable masks smudge my makeup. Why not accessorise your jacket and protect yourself while doing it?

Added bonuses are shit-talking customers to their face, and spicing things up in the bedroom with the trunk-like hose. That is, if you happen to find love in the apocalypse.

Stilts

Stilettos are getting higher and higher. Let's skip all the BS and just walk around on stilts. If the floods have taught us anything, it's that people need to be able to walk when the waters rise up to our roofs. I say we start using stilts now, that way buildings and infrastructure will have to accommodate our new collective height, and we can tell the clowns in parliament there's a new circus in town.