Filet Minion with Minion purée
Celebrate a special occasion with a dear friend or loved one with this decadent recipe for how to cook everyone’s favourite semi-aquatic, denim-rocking invertebrate.
Image Credit: Bonnie Huang
Celebrate a special occasion with a dear friend or loved one with this decadent recipe for how to cook everyone’s favourite semi-aquatic, denim-rocking invertebrate. Being unable to reproduce and thus finite in number, these oversized yellow tic tacs are an exceptional delicacy — if you can wrangle one. This indulgent yet simple preparation recognises and appreciates that. Best complemented by a simple purée that can be made with just five ingredients! Read on for my recipe for filet Minion.
Prep time: 10 minutes + initial capture time
Cook time: 40 minutes
Difficulty: Medium
Serves: 2-3
Ingredients
Filet Minion
1 small-to-medium-sized Minion
1 medium-to-large-sized banana
40g clarified butter
Salt and pepper to taste
Optional: Ossetra caviar (served to taste)
Minion Purée
500g assorted Minion offcuts
100g clarified butter
1/2 cup thickened cream
4 medium garlic cloves, thinly sliced
Salt to taste
Instructions
Filet Minion
Having sourced a suitable Minion by whatever means necessary, distract it with an unpeeled banana while removing its overalls, goggles, and shoes. Discard the goggles and shoes but hold onto the overalls to use as a garnish later.
Stun the Minion by firmly hitting it several times against a hard countertop — like you’re cracking an egg — taking care not to crush the banana.
Hold a large chef’s knife over the naked flame of a gas stove until it glows red hot. Carefully use it to remove the Minion’s arms and legs on a sturdy chopping board. Note: While Minions do not have blood, the nature of their nervous system is unknown and they do appear to react to physical sensations. You may encounter mild resistance from the Minion so be sure to keep a firm grasp throughout.
Place the Minion torso in a large, heavy base saucepan and fill it with cold water until just covered.
Blanch the Minion by placing the pot over a stove point and turning the heat to high. As soon as the water starts to boil, turn off the heat and use a wooden spoon to skim impurities from the surface of the water. This process will ensure all toxins are removed from the Minion and the skin is loosened to be able to release the maximum amount of flavour. This process should take approximately 20 minutes.
Remove the Minion from the water and pat dry. Using a rounded spoon, remove the Minion’s eye(s) and poison sac and discard. Rinse with cold water.
Cut two, 1 1/2-inch thick filets from the centre of the Minion. The rest can be portioned up and frozen for later use for up to three months.
Set a non-stick pan to medium heat, melt the clarified butter until bubbling. Place the Minion filets on the pan, seasoning with plenty of salt and pepper.
Allow the filets to cook, undisturbed, for 5 minutes to achieve a nice medium rare. Tilt the pan and use a spoon to baste them with any butter or fat runoff throughout.
Remove the filets from the pan and allow to rest for 5-7 minutes.
Serve warm with a modest helping of Minion Purée and a drizzle of pan juices. Top with a spoon of Ossetra caviar if desired and garnish with a short strip of denim from the overalls.
Minion Purée
Place the garlic slices and clarified butter in a medium saucepan, cook on low until the butter is melted and garlic is lightly browned. Allow to cool.
Place the Minion offcuts in a food processor and blend on medium until smooth and a deep yellow.
Slowly add the butter and garlic mixture and continue to blend on medium until incorporated.
While blending on low, drizzle in the thickened cream until the mixture assumes a pale yellow colour.
Heat on very low in a small saucepan to bring to heat before serving with a ladle.
Top Tips
Heterochromatic for a richer flavour – Minions come in many different shapes and sizes, but the heterochromatic ones are best! Although they’re harder to come by, the thicker cartilage and greater density of this multicoloured variety packs an almighty flavour punch.
Distract and satiate with a banana – All Minions share an irrepressible affinity for bananas. When blanching your Minion, use an appropriate length of kitchen twine to tie a medium-to-large-sized banana to its torso. The Minion will quickly become enamoured with it and thus distracted from its imminent demise.
Don’t remove the knife, EVER! – Being an essentially immortal being, your little critter will try ceaselessly to escape your plate after being cooked, even if it lacks the anatomical facility to make a proper getaway. A good steak knife driven directly through the centre of your filet Minion is not only helpful, but necessary for keeping it on the plate throughout the whole ordeal.