PULP RANKED: The Top 5 Places to Have a Breakdown Mid-SRC Election

By Pulp Editors

Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.

 5. On Your Preferred Method of Transport

It’s 7am, and you’re on your way to University for the first day of polling. Did you sleep last night? Chances are you didn’t, or at least not If you’re up for any of the big positions. Now is your chance to have a gentle sob in the soothing quiet of early morning public transport. No-one will notice! Bad luck if you’re the only person in your faction with a car, in which case we recommend a hearty stream of tears as you lug your corflutes to campus.

4. At A Satellite Campus 

Stare blankly through the window screen of your caucus-funded Uber as you make your sorry way to the Conservatorium or, god forbid, Cumbo. You prepare your script of empty promises for Satellite students, knowing full well that you will never return. Or at least, not until the next election. 

 3. The Comments Section of a Student Media Publication 

Rain your righteous fury upon the insolence of student media. How dare they hold you to account? Don’t they know you’re a god on this campus! 

 2. Mid Walk and Talk 

You’ve got this one in the bag. Your target is secured and is being promptly walked down Eastern Avenue. But what’s that in the distance? A rival campaigner on their way to contest your vote! Its probably best to just let it happen. 

 1. On the Phone to Your Mum

At this point, your mum probably has a better knowledge of the SRC and its politics than most candidates.