RECAP: The Bachelor 2020 Episode 8

Ellie Stephenson recaps Thursday’s episode.

Tonight’s episode is our first introduction to love in lock(y)down. Locky and his top 10 bachelorettes will be Zooming their way through romance in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Honestly, I feel like it would be safer just to keep everyone in the mansion than to send production to each contestant’s house, but sure. 

We see a montage of the women in isolation. Locky complains that he doesn’t like being stuck inside and that “Missing the girls has been the hardest part of it all”. 

Unrealistic Zoom portrayal: all their cameras are on.

The series resumes with a box arriving at each of the bachelorettes’ doors. It contains a laptop which opens to reveal Osher, who assures the women that they’re doing their part to stop coronavirus and explains that single dates, group dates, cocktail parties, and rose ceremonies will now all be occurring over the internet. 

Locky arrives in the Zoom and selects Izzy for the inaugural virtual single date. While Izzy has barely appeared on our screens before this episode, Locky tells us that they’ve called and messaged in lockdown. 

Izzy receives another package at her door, this time containing the ingredients for making tacos. The single date gives Locky another opportunity to preach the virtues of bland food - we know he hates chilli but it turns out he dislikes coriander too. “Real men eat mild”, he says, which is probably the worst food opinion ever uttered. 

Izzy and Locky have a candle lit Zoom call, which they seem to enjoy, and then Locky tells her he has a surprise. This “very romantic” activity is a spa, which here means ‘conference call from the bath’. 

“I personally have never had a spa while completely naked on a zoom chat on national tv”, Izzy claims. Who would’ve thought?

The other women are discussing how surprised they are at Izzy’s sudden ascent to frontrunner. They realise that there has been some serious inequality in how much interaction the women have had with Locky during isolation: while Irena tells us extremely smugly that she’s been talking to the bachelor every day, an embarrassed Maddy hasn’t had a single call. 

This looks so romantic.

Back on the single date, Locky appears in the bath in floaties and a swimming cap to cackles from Izzy. There are a few risque seconds where he stands up to grab a drink. The couple discuss how Izzy has come out of her shell in lockdown, with Locky asking that she be more confident when they eventually return to the mansion. He describes himself as “absolutely infatuated” with her, which is A Lot. Unsurprisingly, she gets a rose and the pair blow each other kisses. 

Tonight’s group date is a onesie party. The women get sent animal onesies and can ask each other anonymous questions. Obviously, as we all know from Bachelor in Paradise, anonymous questions never bode well for a calm night. Honestly, the date gives me severe deja vu to AskFM controversies circa Year 8: the questions are weird, catty and makes no sense at all. Bella gets asked whether she’s just doing Bachie for her social media presence. She seems a bit defensive, saying she’s already got a social media presence and this question is a “stitch up”. Roxi gets asked why she always cries; she replies that she’s a “hot mess”. 

Juliette is questioned on her 12 years of celibacy - something she told a few of the girls in confidence and is embarrassed to discuss. Roxi gets hit with a curveball: why do you have a secret boyfriend? She’s confused, claiming she doesn’t have one. “Someone is out to get me”, she moans. Unable to fully unleash her tantrum, she shuts off the zoom camera and has a cry. 

Osher appears to say he hopes the women have enjoyed this clearly unpleasant activity. Kaitlyn receives Locky’s rose for the group date for sharing her interest in gardening. OK, but I still have so many questions: Where is Roxi? Who submitted that question? Most importantly, why did they think Roxi had a secret boyfriend? It’s all profoundly unsatisfying.

Probably the most dismal group date in Bachie history.

Roxi worries that Locky will send her home, forgetting that she’s already at home. She complains that she’s done with the whole show, but then decides to attend the cocktail party in order to explain herself.

The cocktail party is a dismal affair, with Locky and the bachelorettes drinking alone at home in half-hearted attempts to dress up. Locky hasn’t even bothered to put on pants, which causes a bit of a stir. Inexplicably, he’s not fed up with Roxi’s melodrama. He chooses to speak with her first. Roxi laments that she feels “like a target”, and Locky tells her she should stand up for herself more. He doesn’t seem to even be curious about the alleged secret boyfriend. Weird. 

In the group Zoom call, Roxi begins to stand up for herself by discussing her feelings about the whole incident. Juliette is annoyed by this, arguing that the question about her celibacy was also weird and invasive. While Juliette has a point, the whole exchange is interminable - it goes on for so long that the other women simply leave the call. And at the end of all that, I still don’t know who the secret boyfriend is!

In the rose ceremony, Bel does not receive a rose and therefore must - er - remain home. So much for psychic Alison’s ramblings about the spirit realm.

Episode score: 6.5 - novel but extremely confected

Questions: Unanswered

Roxi’s crying streak: Intact

Best moment - The editors seem to be having fun with cutting together the Zoom recordings

Worst moment - The secret boyfriend mystery