By Madeline Ward

I have conflicted feelings about crime shows: on the one hand, they’re undeniably, in almost every form, state propaganda. Police brutality and corruption is rarely, if ever, thoroughly interrogated to any meaningful extent, and plotlines and characters are undeniably designed to provoke sympathy for the police characters at the centre of each show, even when those characters behave in morally wrong or ethically dubious ways. On the other hand, they’re incredibly entertaining. This list ranks the only unproblematic element of one of the most popular genres in contemporary television: their theme songs.

10. NCIS LA

The opening titles of NCIS LA are a stain on the legacy of the much better soundtracked NCIS. I have nothing more to say on the matter.

9. Medium

Sigla is objectively a good composition for the opening credits of Medium, but was genuinely terrifying to me as a child, when it came on the TV before I was promptly shooed out of the room by my parents.

8. Criminal Minds

In truth I’ve never watched a full episode of Criminal Minds, so I have no idea if this is a good or bad theme song. I was, however, once very into Matthew Gray Gubler as a horny 15 year old with a Tumblr account. As a stand alone tune it’s not much of a banger.

7. Father Brown

Though Father Brown is decidedly the lesser iteration of the Priest That Solves Crime format (Grantchester, with its deeply handsome and somewhat unethical leading man takes the prize on that front) the opening credits are instantly recognisable for anyone with a taste for British crime drama.

6. Midsomer Murders

Were this a list of ranked crime shows, Midsomer Murders would be in the top 3 at the very least. Alas, though the spooky but not entirely sinister opening theme of Midsomer Murders is iconic, it’s not exactly banger material.

5. Cold Case

Haunting, orchestral music with distinctly modern composition: a perfect theme for a show that centres around closing historical cold cases. You can’t tell me that the string section at 1:20 doesn’t give you chills.

4. Bones

All crime shows should be soundtracked by 90’s - early 2000’s electronica, it’s just facts.

3. CSI Miami

CSI Miami is a Dad Crime Show, which is why it’s beyond perfect that its opening credits are set to a Dad Rock song, by one of the most Dad Rock Bands of all time.

2. Law & Order: SVU

Yeah, it slaps. But could you get down to the Law and Order: SVU theme song on a dancefloor? I don’t think so.

1. NCIS

LISTEN TO THE FULL SONG AND TELL ME I AM WRONG. I AM WILLING TO BE CANCELLED FOR THIS TAKE.

Pulp Ranked: Top 10 Crime Show Opening Credit Songs