RECAP: The Bachelor 2020 Episode 6
Ellie Stephenson observes the latest Bachie chaos.
After some extremely confusing and contextless controversy on Wednesday night, tonight’s episode of The Bachelor promises yet more drama, telling us that a “Mudbath becomes a bloodbath”. This sounds unhygienic but hopefully it’s funny.
Irena is back from her date with Locky. She tells us she’s sleeping with the engraved sabre from the date under her pillow for protection. Wow, seems like the mansion is a really healthy, friendly environment. Bella, who is best friends with Irena, feels conflicted because she also has strong feelings for Locky but she’s happy to see Irena succeed.
In a weird psychometric group date, the women compete against each other in a game of ‘compatibility chess’, which asks the contestants a series of questions to gauge their compatibility with Locky. If they get the questions right, they can advance across the chessboard. They can also knock each other off the board if they get an advantage.
Unsurprisingly, Roxi targets Areeba and vice versa. Areeba is ruthlessly removed from the board by a coalition of Roxi and Maddy. Roxi progresses across the board quickly before being unseated by pageant queen Gemma, who has literally never had a moment of airtime before. Gemma wins the day because the statement ‘I’m known for keeping my word’ is true for her (as though anyone would admit it was false).
Gemma is pleased to have won this game of what she calls “chest”. Locky is keen to get to know her more personally. Either Gemma is extremely boring or the producers are very mean; we learn that she has a permanent dent in her head from her pageant crown, that she doesn’t really watch the news except to prepare for pageants, and that, “like an onion”, she has many layers, except that every layer won’t shut up about beauty pageants. She has an excrutiating conversation with Locky about the differences between paragliding and base jumping, which Gemma calls ‘spacejumping’. Unsurprisingly, she doesn’t get a rose.
Back at the mansion, Charley is worrying about the girl code because she’s about to begin a scheme. She tells Locky she has a surprise for him - it’s a mudbath. This is so obviously the same bath the Channel 10 props department has supplied season after season, and it still doesn’t seem like an enjoyable activity. All the other women are horrified. Laura complains that this is not cocktail dress code, which is exactly the kind of thing she would complain about. Roxi gives us a lecture about how awkward the whole thing is to watch, which is odd because no one is forcing her to watch. The hair and makeup department scream in despair as Charley and Locky rub mud into their hair.
By the time Locky returns - which seems to be a while judging by the complaining in the mansion - Kaitlyn has decided that she’s going to kiss him. She gets him alone and lands a rather underwhelming peck on his lips. Despite the fact that this kiss lasts about 0.4 seconds, Roxi is mad. “She’s Gold Coast trash”, she rants, “she’s claaassslesss”. Frankly, Roxi is not the peak of decorum at this point either.
Irena decides to chat to Locky (a dangerous move given she’s recently had a date). Maddy, whose only appearances so far have been to complaintatively commentate the show, has a whinge about this. Roxi is angry, to no one’s surprise. “She’s going to run out of tears soon”, Laura opines. We can only hope.
Laura adds that the whole party has the vibes of a funeral, because everyone is crying. That includes Bella, who feels forgotten by Locky in favour of her friend Irena.
The mood reaches a new low thanks to a very strange yelling match. Marg, who has suddenly got a little airtime, as a treat, is lecturing the girls about how everyone is crying. Kaitlyn takes issue with this, because she’s not upset. Roxi screeches something which is subjected to a very long bleep. Kaitlyn truly doesn’t care. Roxi is infuriated that Kaitlyn put her “fake hand” in her face. Primary school teacher Maddy puts her training to use to calm Roxi’s tantrum.
And now it’s the cocktail party; two girls will be going home. Bella receives the first rose. Roxi seethes, claiming that if Kaitlyn gets a rose before her all hell will break lose. Kaitlyn does get a rose before her. Roxi fails to deliver on her promise, and does nothing. Charley is second last, being left to worry about whether Locky liked her mudbath or not. Gemma gets the final rose, indicating that Locky isn’t quite done learning about beauty pageants.
Kristina and Rosemary go home. Osher turns up ominously to announce that COVID-19 has struck, but we’ll see the full ramifications of this next Wednesday.
Episode score: 5/10 - eh.
Saber: Under Irena’s pillow to this day
Roxi’s tears count: Posing minor flooding concerns in low lying areas
Best moment: “I’m starting to think maybe he didn’t appreciate the mudbath”
Worst moment: “Gold Coast trash”