Scott Morrison says “9/11 wasn’t a particularly flash day for those terrorists either.”

By Fabian Robertson

Prime Minister Scott Morrison attempted to evoke empathy for the perpetrators of the September 11 attacks in a press conference in Queensland.

“9/11 wasn’t a particularly flash day for those terrorists commandeering the vessels and crashing them into buildings either,” he said.

The comments represent Morrison doubling down on his response to Cricket Australia’s decision to promote inclusivity by dropping ‘Australia Day’ references from their advertisements of the Big Bash.

“When those 12 ships turned up in Sydney, all those years ago, it wasn’t a particularly flash day for the people on those vessels either,” he says. “What that day, to this, demonstrates is how far we’ve come as a country and I think that’s why it’s important to mark it in that way.”

Morrison’s startling eloquence and flawless reasoning finally put the Australia Day debate to rest. It is now almost universally accepted that having a fixed date for people to drink beers on is more important than being respectful of the cultural and physical decimation inflicted upon Indigenous people. 

“Yeah the First Fleet may have signified the beginning of colonisers invading and pillaging Indigenous culture, but nearly all of the Englishmen were prisoners,” says Morrison, “and some even had scurvy!”

Morrison went on to strengthen his argument by referencing 9/11, “Yes the Al-Qaeda participants killed hundreds of innocent people, but they died too, didn’t they? Shouldn’t we be a bit more understanding? At the end of the day, they had a go and they got a go. How good is Al Qaeda?”

The Prime Minister’s attempts to foster a greater emotional understanding of the perpetrators of horrific and deadly acts was likely inspired by his work with a $190,000 empathy consultant funded by the taxpayers. The consultant was first hired in October of 2019 to inform the government on how to relate to drought-stricken farmers. The move was seen as an ingenious budget-friendly alternative to actually helping farmers by passing laws or contributing to the global fight against climate change.

One can only hope Morrison continues to lead the nation with such empathy.

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